I had known such people for most of my life, but hadn’t truly recognized them until my sister (Ph.D. in psychology) gave me a book called The Sociopath Next Door (by Martha Stout). I highly recommend this book. Most people can name the famous sociopaths: Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Putin. But it is very helpful to recognize the less well-known ones, the ones you come across daily in your personal life.

Many sociopaths have learned to be sweet and to appear to be kind, but that is a mask for their inner standards. Doing so helps them exploit others. Several percent of the people you meet are thought to be sociopaths. The percentage may be higher among “successful” people, since there are some survival advantages to the syndrome. There are also disadvantages. One sociopath I know quite well won a Nobel Prize in physics (in part due to taking credit away from others), but despite that, nobody who has ever worked with him in the past will work with him again. Largely as a result, his post-Nobel career has completely stalled.

These days, when I encounter a sociopath, I treat him (or her) with politeness, but I am careful to have no substantive relationship. I do not allow myself to depend on him in any way whatsoever, even if I think it is in his best interests to help me. Life is full of opportunities, and when you run across a sociopath, your best approach is to find a new path, one that avoids all interactions with that person.

It is surprising that sociopaths exist? It may be a physical/medical/inherited condition, not easily cured through psychological counseling. I think the real miracle in life and civilization is that the vast majority of people do care about others. I don’t have the sense that this large scale empathy is shared by most of the members of the animal kingdom (outside of empathy for their immediate families and their providers; animal lovers will probably furiously disagree, but remember: I am allowing for pet empathy towards their providers.)

Even in humans, empathy is sometimes limited to the tribe. Outsiders are not considered to be human. The most remarkable teaching of Plato and Jesus is that one should not only love one’s neighbors, but also one’s enemies. To the extent that we don’t do so, we are all somewhat sociopathic, if only a little. That should help us understand the true sociopaths. In effect, they consider all their colleagues and acquaintances (and often even their own family members) to be their enemies. How would you act if you were surrounded by enemies? Would you simply turn the other cheek?

The Gossip Goats.
We are good-for-nothing except for the baa-baa-baa we do about others all the time.

The Rumor Rogues.
Competing with him/her is hard, but hey! Spreading rumor about that person seems like not bad an idea.

The Jealous Janks.
We are going to destroy you. Avoid us. Like plague.

The Judgemental Jerk-heads.
We are poor listeners. We are poor communicators. But, muhaha! We have too much time to worry about things that are none of our businesses.

The Manipulative Monsters.
Punch us in our faces, kick us out of your lives before we make you powerless and deaden you.

The Criticizing Captains.
Free loser-faultfinder-critic anybody? We are available in plenty.

The Negativity Ninjas.
You see us, you are dead. Physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, any-way-possibly.

The Life-Sucker Leeches.
Extra straw, anyone? Just found a target. It would be do much fun to suck fun out of its life. Mmm-yumm.

The Arrogant A-holes.
So what if we are dim-wits? Brute intimidation works!

The Dishonest D-Bags.
We are the D-bags. We Damage, Destroy, Disfigure. What? EVERYTHING.

People who always belittle your efforts:

“Hey, that was easy. What’s so special in that? I could have done it much better.” People who doesn’t know how to appreciate your hard work and can’t rejoice in your accomplishments should be stayed away from.

People who aren’t there in your tough times:

Its those people who are always around you in your celebrations but suddenly become invisible when you need them the most. You don’t need them in your life, they need you.

Those with extreme emotions/reactions:

There are a few who will react to everything without thinking twice. They are ready to start-up a quarrel/fight without giving a thought. They relish the battle and will bring you down to their level. And you can’t win, because they are the best form of stupidity.

People who manipulate you:

At times they will make you believe that they’re your only friend and others simply hate you. You believe them without even confirming with others. They can truly isolate you from everyone with their lies and make you feel unwanted.

People filled with negativity to the brim:

“They couldn’t do it, so how do you think we even stand a chance?”

“There is no point in even trying”

“Some things are not meant for us”

People who give up ever so easily and have no driving force can drag you down along with themselves. Don’t let them.

People who are your friends as long as they’re getting something from you:

A relation isn’t a business where you should be getting a return, else its of no use continuing. There will be people who will stick by your side either because of your money, your higher connections, or any perks with which they are being benefited from. And the moment you’re of no use, they will find someone else.