The meme says it in a nutshell, just ignore them. I never paid much attention to other’s opinions… or their negativity. I usually prove them wrong and invalidate their stance with success and happiness. However, in the spirit of vindictiveness and because I’m human, I’d like to discuss some other ways to deal with the negative Nellies in your life, but in a way that is positive and conducive to a life lived in peace and happiness.
People often don’t realize the impact of their words on other people. If you are someone who gets offended easily, this can have a damaging toll on your psyche. There are ways to deal with it besides ignoring the person. Sometimes we have to get the last word in, it helps us to cope. The opposite is letting someone walk all over us mentally. I think that’s what many of us are afraid of, that we will be perceived as an easy target for someone to send negativity to us, because they know there won’t be any consequences.
So what’s the proper response to someone who is being negative? How do you deal with it? It sounds good to just ignore them, but does that really satisfy us? It doesn’t me, at least sometimes. Sometimes I just don’t care. Like everyone else, it depends entirely on my mood at the time. How about saying “thank you”. A simple thank you can speak volumes to the offending party. It not only is telling of your maturity, it lets the other person know you won’t be affected by their negativity. Many times a “thank you” acknowledges that we received the message and are grateful. However, in this case it simply means you acknowledge the person’s rudeness and chose to not let it affect you. This is a much more mature way to respond, don’t you think? This will usually shut the person up very quickly when he/she realizes their comments don’t phase you in the least.
When you react negatively to a situation you are releasing all of your power to that person or to the situation. There is a much better way to deal with life. Choose happiness, choose positivity and let others know they can not take your power away. Don’t you think this is a much better way to deal with life and people in general?
I often say, “I appreciate your perspective”. You don’t have to agree with everything everyone spews at you and neither do they have to agree with your opinions. You don’t need to value everyone’s commentary and opinions on your life. Everyone you encounter plays a different role, so always take that into consideration when responding to a person. Simply saying this one very, concise statement, ” I appreciate your perspective”, will many times save a blow out and reacting in an immature manner. Let them know that you will only carry on the conversation with dignity and respect. Afterall, we are all adults, right? There is no reason for name calling, blame and the myriad of other negative statements that come out of people’s mouths when they are upset or have been offended. It just doesn’t make sense to me. If you go this route, the person may actually end up having more respect for you when you act in a more considerate, mature manner. If this doesn’t happen, shift your focus and tell them, “The conversation is now over”. Sometimes you are too angry to respond in a civil way, it happens to all of us. When this is the case, simply walk away and gather your thoughts.
Heated conversations that end up in a brawl do not help anyone. After all, who wants to be fighting all the time? If you want that, then keep doing what you’re doing. But if you want peace and a life filled with bliss, act civil or walk away from the conversation. I’m not saying you disrespect yourself by pretending that the other person’s comments are acceptable or applicable to your life. Your walking away from the conversation does not validate their stance. Do you really think it does? It does not, it simply means that you took the high road and backed out of the conversation. You can’t fight negativity with more negativity, life just doesn’t work like that.
Maybe it means you remove this person from your life, you just don’t get along. It may mean something else. But if you are in a constant battle with someone or even with others in the general public, then you need to search deep within yourself to find out what the real problem is. We can’t change others unless they are receptive to change. You can not create in another’s life against their will, it’s impossible. Teach them by example the way you want them to be. If you want more love, give love. If you want to argue less, walk away when interactions get tense. It really doesn’t have to be complicated.
If none of the above work ask the person, “Do you really expect me to answer? Why do you feel that comment was necessary?.” People need to know that you will not tolerate rude or uncouth behavior. If someone can’t respect you for who you are, find someone who does. After all there are billions of people in this world, right? Do you really need to hold on to people who do not add value to your life? Whether a person you see in a store or someone you’ve been married to for decades, they have to know you will not tolerate anything less than respect. It’s just that simple. Your reaction chooses everything in your life. Release and let go. When you ask them in this way, they are responding to a cool and collected version of YOU, who is ready to talk things out sensibly and adult like. Saying this will put a damper on the conversation and quickly let them know they won’t get a rise out of you, which some people really enjoy doing. If they say ‘Yes” to your question, then reply with, “Well, it looks like this isn’t your lucky day”. Period, get where I’m going with this?
What’s your relationship with the person? Depending, you could tell them, “I love myself and I love you too”. I had to mention this because much of the rudeness and negativity that appears in our lives comes from those that we are close to or love.
Kindness always prevails over negativity, darkness can not thrive where light is present. When you express to the other person just how much you love life and others, their comments become irrelevant and lose power quickly. Their sour mood and bleak outlook on themselves, you, and life will not be a match for your extreme happiness and zest for life. People also aren’t used to such raw emotion from others, and will probably be too surprised to formulate a proper response.
Your words and attitude have the ability to boost the entire energy of a room and promote more positive conversation. You can’t go wrong with that! Keep in mind that you are always creating, whether you realize it or not. Are you creating a life that is on track with your desires or one that is off track with what you really want? Life doesn’t have to be complicated, so don’t make it so by reacting to everything that is slung at you. Loosen up, none of us get out of here alive anyway, so enjoy the ride!
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