Estimated reading time: 4 minutes, 43 seconds
I find myself in a constant battle, it's actually a daily struggle. Do I do what's right for myself, or do I do what's right for someone else. Do I do what makes someone else happy or do I do what makes me happy? I've come to learn, especially over the past couple of weeks, that if you worry about or make decisions based on someone else's happiness, you'll grow to resent that person. You have to take care of yourself FIRST, before you can help anyone else.
You have to fill yourself up FIRST, before you can fill someone else up. There doesn't have to be shame in doing so, you don't have to feel guilty for wanting to take care of yourself first and doing what makes you happy. I've always had a hard time reconciling this, because as a business person, my decisions effect a lot of people sometimes. Sometimes my decisions effect them negatively. It's something I've always struggled with.
I've so often based my happiness on what others thought of me. Did they think I was a nice person? Did they think I did the right thing? Did they think I was fair? I'm sure many reading this sometimes have the same feelings, at least during some point in their life. It's not arrogant, self righteous or even wrong to think of yourself first. You have to, because I assure you, the resentment you feel for others will only grow and magnify as time marches on. The resentment will eat at you and eventually sabotage your life. It will sabotage your relationships.. Don't we just all want to be happy in the end? Don't we all just want what's best for everyone?
There is only one you, take care of you, love you and everything and everyone else will fall into the place they need to be. I'm not saying you shouldn't honor, love and have compassion for others. I'm simply saying take care of yourself first. Once again, you have to be fulfilled first before you can even start to fulfill someone else. I go to sleep at night praying that others have benefited simply because of my existence. So it's not about compassion or love, I think I have a lot of it. It's about not feeling resentment for others because you have sacrificed. Sacrificing is not the best route to take. Sacrifice is not love. Sacrifice only leads to separation in the end. You have so much love to give, but are you giving the love you give to others, to yourself?
The earth turns on its orbit for You. The oceans ebb and flow for you. The birds sing for You. The sun rises and it sets for You. The stars come out for You. Every beautiful thing you see, every wondrous thing you experience, it's all there, for You. Take a look around. None of it can exist, without You. No matter who you thought you were, no matter where you've been in your life. You should know the Truth of Who You Really Are. You are the master of the Universe. You are the heir to the Kingdom. You are the perfection of Life. You are beautiful. You are life eternal. NEVER believe anyone who tells you otherwise. Because in Your mind, they don't even have to exist.
Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Because I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want to be too much or push people away. I wanted people to like me. I wanted to be cared for and valued. I wanted to be wanted. So for years, I sacrificed myself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, I suffered. But I’m tired of suffering, and I’m done shrinking. It’s not my job to change who I am in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. I am worthwhile. Not because other people think I am, but because I exist, and therefore I matter. My thoughts matter. My feelings matter. My voice matters. And with or without anyone’s permission or approval, I will continue to be who I am and speak my truth. Even if it makes people angry. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave. I refuse to shrink. I choose to take up space. I choose to honor my feelings. I choose to give myself permission to get my needs met.
With this being said, I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend!
My Podcasts - Yeah I do a little bit of everything!
Some of my other posts.
I can automatically update you when I update my blog.. I usually post two or sometimes three times a month. Just enter your name and email address below. I have a strict No Spam policy and will never sell your information to third parties. You can follow my Author feed on Amazon. I also write fiction primarily under two different pen names depending on the subject. If you are interested, please Contact Me. Also, if you have a specific question or something you would like some advice on, feel free to Contact Me as well. I can’t promise you will get an answer, but I sure will try. Want to see my other blog posts? See them Here. Also, feel free to comment below. I moderate the comments, so don't panic if they don't appear immediately.